Relationships started over the internet aren’t real relationships. Now I know what you are saying. “What about dating websites that actually work?” ” I met my wife on eHarmony!” The fact that people meet on these websites and enter into relationships/marriages later in life is awesome. However, the relationship doesn’t start until you meet this person in person. When you sit behind your computer and talk to random people, you may get to to know them, but how is that a true relationship? Is this the real you? Or is this the you that is only over the internet? If Jesus were alive today, would he speak to people over Facebook in order to show them his teachings? No. Personal interaction and seeing someone face to face is where relationships kick off.
Now normally i do a lot of research for these blogs and base what I’m saying off of other person’s opinions and previously found facts. But this time I’m going to use 90% of my personal experience as my base for discussion.
When I was in grade school, I did the occasional flirting with a girl. But at this point in my life I didn’t really care much for girls. Fast forward to middle school. Girls are starting to catch my eye. And this is also where my awkward stage set in. As a young child, you don’t worry about what others think, because the idea that you are doing something “weird” or “socially incorrect” hasn’t been realized yet. But as a kid in middle school, I started to understand what was “cool” and what would ultimately land me some friends. The problem was that I didn’t have the courage to approach people. I lacked the social interaction skills that would introduce myself into new friend groups, and in turn, relationships with girls.
Fast forward again to high school. I somehow managed to snag a few awkward dates and girlfriends along the way, but none of them stuck and I never really opened up to any of them. I only showed them what I thought was inherently “cool”. Then when I finally made my Facebook page, the base of how I made relationships with others changed forever. I soon came to find that I could add any random girl from anywhere I wanted and I could talk to her. The best part about it? If I looked stupid I could just block them. Now as childish as this may seem, it was quite the find for early high-school Joe. I would have a friend that would have a friend that happened to go to a school nearby, so I would add her and talk to her. Sounds good right? I have the confidence to talk to girls now? Wrong.
Because of how easy this was now to just talking to different people, I soon started to create a facade for my online chats. In person, I was quiet, reserved, and I had to really know someone to open up to them. But online, I was blatantly honest, confident, and I had no filter. If I wanted to say something, that I normally wouldn’t say in person, I would say it anyway.
The problem with all of this is that this wasn’t the real me. I would make these relationships online as this confident honest person. I would seem so “cool” and interesting and I always had things to talk about. But were these relationships ever true relationships? I rarely ever met these people in real life after finding them on Facebook, and most of them I ended up stopping all communication altogether. And although I never personally did this to someone else, it would have been very easy for me to lie and say that I was 6″4′ and had enormous muscles. But was that true? No.
Funny enough I found this video that someone else made, that expresses exactly how I feel.
Hiding behind our computers give us this false confidence. We aren’t always the same person when we are online. And I honestly feel as though this should not be a way to start a relationship. When we make these relationships online, they aren’t even real. They are simply placeholders for starting a real life, in person relationships. These relationships that come from interaction with others. We know how they act, how they speak, how they laugh. Relationships startedover the internet aren’t real relationships.
Due to the lack of links in my personal experience, here is a bunch of interesting articles on internet relationships: