Don’t want to deal with it

We live in a digital world. Nothing that can’t be done over the internet needs to be done at all. Why should we waste our valuable time doing things that could be done by computers.

Here are the top seven things that we shouldn’t have to deal with in the future:

1. Driving
Self driving cars are the future! You no longer need to know the way to work or how to get home from the airport. Your car will do it for you.

2. Breaking up with our significant other.
If we want to end it, why should it be awkward on our side? That’s where The Breakup Shop comes in. Just order your breakup online and forget about it. They will contact your s/o to let them know that you’re done without you ever having to say anything.

3. Awkward interactions
Human interaction. Most of us suck at it. So why not have something there to tell you exactly what to say and do and when to do it?

4. Unattractive partners
We’ve always searched for the most attractive partner possible, but now we don’t even have to search! Take Sight and you can replace the person in front of you with whomever you want to see. Does your husband look more like Peter Griffin than George Clooney? Just turn on your Sight and you’re interacting with a whole new man!

george-clooney-300 peter_griffin

5. Watching Movies
Do you realize how much time we spend movies and tv? Think of all that sleep that we are missing out on! In the future, we won’t have to waste time in a theatre or in front of a tv screen. We will be able to download the shows we want to see straight into our brains. We can “watch” a whole film or season in a matter of seconds and be done with it. Who actually watches movies for the enjoyment anyway? They’re just there to give a reason to Netflix and chill.

6. Eating
Does anyone actually enjoy making a meal? So much preparation and planning just for something that’ll sit on your tongue for a few seconds before you poop it out. We need to jump on the Spy Kids microwave food wagon. Whoever made this movie had the right idea about the food of the future!

7. Other people
We don’t need to go outside and interact other humans. What we need are avatars! A being that we can control from the comfort of our own beds that does all of the worldly work for us. This James Cameron’s Avatar but without the giant blue people. Let’s make like a giant Sims game!


If you didn’t get it already, everything in this post is a joke.

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