We are imperfect humans whose sinful nature is to compare and be jealous of our neighbors. These words such as failure, disappointment, defeated, loser, unworthy, etc not only flood our minds first when something doesn’t go our way but also set limitations on our abilities. We naturally set such high expectations for ourselves. How we handle the situations is what’s crucial because it reflects our character.
There’s an article called How to Help Kids Overcome Fear of Failure and in the first line it says: “Are kids too coddled?” The article proceeds to talk about how we try to avoid failure because our self-worth needs protecting. The article also tackles how to move forward if someone is fearing failure: emphasize effort over ability, encourage practices of self-compassion when failed, and build positive relationships.
Growing up, I believe you could have titled me ‘coddled’. I was always told to ‘do the best I could’, but that phrase over time turned into a crutch for me to use—it concerned me. It gave me permission to not push myself to give more than I actually had to offer, yet I firmly believe there’s always more to us than the words engraved in our minds lead us to believe.
When I would push myself and give more than just my best and failed, the word disappointment would come to mind and it continues to this day. Disappointment means nonfulfillment of one’s hopes or expectations. It feels as though you let someone down and when is that ever okay? It’s not, but I’m not superwoman—constant reminder I tell myself.
My faith is who I am and it carries me through times of failure. Have you ever heard this phrase: “It’s about what you have not what you don’t have.” This phrase is so true because my faith in God is what I have and God has taught me how each and every one of us has been given unique talents and abilities. Knowing there is always more, means our story is far from over. Our failure is just a simple bump in the road compared to the long journey ahead and it’s with confidence in God, we can learn to handle failure correctly.
In an article called: Why Attitude Is More Important Than Intelligence, they make a good point that a fixed mindset person believes they are who they are and they can’t fix it which creates problems. Yet a person with a growth mindset believes there’s always room for improvement.
This goes to show that we have to have a mindset of growth and failure comes with that package which is okay. As humans, we set up limitations, but as Christians, we believe in a God that has no limitations. There is a plan for our lives if we trust in God. In Jeremiah 29:11 God reassures us: “For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’”
Jeremiah 8:4: “The Lord says: ‘You know if a man falls down, he gets up again. And if a man goes the wrong way, he turns around and comes back.’”
It’s as easy as that because of our faith. As Christians, we fail and disappoint, but we are blessed with a Heavenly Father who demonstrates compassion and grace which helps us to rise above our sinful nature deeds. For me, not only knowing that but being confident in it, helps me in every aspect of my life dealing with failure. It helps to know that if I’m going to fail, I can fall onto my faith to move forward.
“If I’m going to fall, I’m not going to fall back on anything except my faith. I want to fall forward because at least I’m going to see what I’m going to hit.”